State of the Gaijin - Nearing the End.......(?)

My last day of school is 3/24. I'm not renewing my contract with my current company (Interac) for the following reasons:

• Contracts begin at the beginning of April (when school starts) and I need more of a breather than just a week back home
• Contracts are for a year and I'm not ready to commit for another full lap
• There are enough teaching jobs in Japan that there's not much pressure to lock in to something when the timing's off
  
• I was pushing hard to get transfered to a bigger city like Fukuoka, Hiroshima, Nagoya or Tokyo, but didn't get it. With most Japanese companies - you don't get what you want - only what the system dispenses. I don't know how the placement process "functions" but it hasn't worked well for me. I think this is an issue with most of these ALT supporting type companies in Japan - so it's not unique to Interac - but something to be prepared for if you're thinking about signing up. On the other hand I do recommend Interac to anyone looking to teach English in Japan. It's currently the biggest and one of the most well respected company's of it's kind

Moving Forward: I'll be returning to the blessed, blessed soil of the United States of America - the greatest country in the Universe - on 3/26 - hopefully early enough to catch some March Madness and maybe a spring training game.

Bridging the Gap: The current plan is to bum around AMERICA for a month - stock up on the things I've been missing like freedom - genuine laughter - friends - sincerity - coolness - debauchery - fun - hamburgers - individual thinking and justice. After I've gotten a nice fix - I'd then, come back to Japan for another teaching stint - and have all of those things sucked right back out. This move back to Japan would be only for a few months in order to save money before I pursue the long-term goal of balancing everything out by moving to Chile in August or September. I'd like to work/volunteer as a journalist at one of the English newspapers/media outlets in the country. If that doesn't pan out, I've heard the English teaching market is pretty strong and it's not too difficult to find a job if you've got training and experience (which I do - wa'sup?).

Economic Outlook: Bleak - either way I wouldn't be making much money - so if anyone's hiring in April - pretty much just for April - let me know.

Entertainment: I've been told numerous times by various Japanese locals that I have a "Japanese heart." This compliment has been the result of a wide range of acts from helping sweep during the daily school-cleaning time (where the entire school - students and teachers - take 30 minutes to clean - no janitors/outsourced cleaning crews - all in-house baby), to speaking broken drunken Japanese with a few drunken Japanese at a drinking party. The Last Samurai 2: The Last Samurai.

Health care: I banged up my knee teaching these kids how to ball and have been on the DL for the past few weeks. I did think of a nickname if I ever made the AND1 mixtape tour: Ghostwipe.

Midori

Went to a concert in Tokyo at the Liquidroom in Ebisu. A smaller place, maybe the same size as the Marquee in Tempe for those that are familiar. Not a dingy place, but dark and unimpressive. Fits a few hundred people - bar in front - $30 to get in - then once you're in you have to buy a $5 drink, served in a tiny plastic cup - smaller than the ones used in beer-pong, for those that are familiar - and filled up 3/4 of the way. They didn't search my backpack at the door - so it could've been byob, but I'm an idiot. Now I know, and knowing is half the battle.

Three bands played: The Zoot16, Midori and Radio Caroline. Japanese bands. It wasn't packed - maybe 200. Strange scene. When you first get there, there's a big set of stairs partitioned off so that you have to walk all the way up to this empty lounge area, where a couple staffers direct you down the other side of the same stairs you just hiked up - to the entrance. This is the only way in. No side doors or fences to help you save $30.

This was the young adult 18 - 30 something cross section of Tokyo - a sample of it at least and something I've only experienced in small bights. They dress like they're complete dorks in cool-costumes for Halloween. Weird 80's - early 90's hair styles, bleach streaks, spikes, leopard cowboy boots and black leather jackets with lots of silver buttons and straps, terrible teeth, lots of smoke.

The crowd was loud I guess - far from hostile. They cheered and jumped around - but it wasn't passionate or reckless - it was like they were doing it because it was the time in the song to do it - complying. At most concerts there's that sense of approachable chaos - like if the crowd goes crazy enough in the same direction, it could get dangerous - Unstoppable. Lawless. Not at this show. (side note: I also went to the Rage Against the Machine concert, to try and sneak in - impossible again - but felt that same void in the scene and crowd before the show - like yeah let's get all geared up to go crazy but only after we've bought our tickets in advance, filed in through the arrows and signage and halls, waited 45 minutes in line to pay $40 for a shirt after paying $90 for a general admission ticket, checking our things in for safe keeping at the "goods check" area, waiting in line for the doors to open to our huge gray square hall container where we can rage all we want.)

The Zoot16 and Radio Caroline went along with the underlying feeling of "only cool because I'm in Japan". The meat of the show was Midori. 4 person band: drums, keyboard, upright bass and lead singer/guitar. The lead singer was a girl dressed in a school girl uniform. Tiny thing (the girl) and crazy as hell. Hitting herself in the head with the microphone, slamming around all over the stage, diving off and crowd surfing mid-verse. Her guitar and pretty much every instrument up there was more percussion than anything. The guy on the keyboard spent most of his time running around the stage clapping and pumping up the crowd. The bassist would jump into the crowd with his bass -I think there's a Will Ferrel SNL skit about bassist solos - this was the exaggerated version of that, only taken very seriously by most. The whole thing was more spectacle, less music. Her lyrics were 3 parts screaming, 1 part melodic inaudible (to me at least) speaking and humming. A loud, disorienting sound, kept above water by the antics on stage. It was awesome.

The show was over by 10pm and then everybody went home.

Midori

Midori girl

Radio Caroline

Radio Caroline

video footage available through videos link

Some Tokyo Sights

Kappabashi street in the Asakusa area. It's where they sell fake food that restaurants display in their front windows so gaijin know what they'd be getting into.

Spicy Bar - Mucho Gracias
Strange place

"Excuse me. I'm not from around here. Which way is the Rage Against the Machine concert?"

Fuji-san from the train, a long way away.

From Shinjuku - government building - getting dark

Yoyogi park on a day off

I'm on Board - Partial Retraction

After watching the press conference introducing the newest member of your Phoenix Suns, I felt myself warming up to the guy. I'd much rather listen to him talk in that slow, almost slurred, almost soothing, barely audible voice than Marion's nervous twitching and sputtering. The Matrix has to be one of the worst interviews in sports, America - maybe the universe. It's pretty difficult to find any footage or audio of his reaction to this trade. I only just now found a few quotes from him. Even in print (which is the best way to digest his communications if you have to submit yourself to them at all (which I don't have to do anymore)) he sounds like a jackass. Arizona sports editors just gained an extra 2 hours in there day now that they don't have to process his interviews into something comprehensible. Maybe we'll finally see something legible from the geniuses at the Arizona Republic.

No, he hasn't played a game yet, but he's saying all the right things and that's the most we can ask for right now. Everyone looks happy for the first time this season. It sounds like he's made the commitment and everyone else is right there with him. Now we keep our fingers crossed, pray he gets/stays healthy, and think of new nicknames for him.

Diesel in the Desert

I've never made it a secret that I can't stand Shaq. For years it's been this way. The most I've ever liked watching him in action was in the 1994 classic hit "Blue Chips" where he played the charismatic and talented southern prospect Neon alongside Nick Nolte and Penny Hardaway. Penny's character's name was Butch McRae.


He was the most dominating player in basketball for about 10 years, and he does have multiple championships, but I still can't stand him. Every interview is something stupider and stupider. His self prescribed nicknames like The Big Pythagoras "because I'm like the Pythagorean theorem - nobody can solve me" - a squared plus b squared = c squared. His game was so boring, dominating yes, but boring - establishes his position on the block, dump the ball into him a couple dribbles backing down the out-sized defender a couple steps - kick the ball back out - back in a couple more feet to where he's right under the rim - dump it back into him - then Kazaaam - two handed dunk for another completely un-awe inspiring two points where he does half a pull up on the rim and raises his knees up a bit for the lucky patrons in the front row to get a nice whiff of the O'Neil family jewels. A big drop off from Michael Jordan's Playground. I'm so happy that basketball is finally evolving into a faster, athletic game and have been reveling during his rapid deterioration within the past year - until now.

Now he's a Sun. Back in Phoenix where he broke the hoop in '93 and got beat up by Barkley at some point some season. I (like everyone else) thought this trade would never happen. Terrible idea to abandon our core (Nash, Stoudamire, Marion) philosophy of run n' gun and take in the fat, slow, injured, dwindling Fu. A day later the headline said: Desert Daddy.

Stunned, angry, disoriented at first. But, now, the more I think about it the more I agree with the trade. I hate to say and can't deny that we weren't going to win a championship with the same team this year. We've had some good shots the past couple years, the breaks didn't go our way, we never made the finals and we were headed down the same road this year. We were going to run all over the regular season and then lose again in the playoffs. Marion's been a little punk all year and he'd be out the door next year with his attitude/chemistry problems and Suns' not wanting to give him an extension. So our "core" was going to split up at the end of this season anyways. Sarver gets a call that Shaq is on the trading block and this is at most the last potentially effective year he has in him. Nash can only play like he is for a couple more years at most - so, the time is now.

With this trade, they solve a few problems. Gets rid of Marion's punk-ass in the locker room; finally gives us a defensive presence in the lane and on the boards (see recent performances by Dwight Howard, Andrew Bynum, that guy on the T-Wolves and the past three years of Spurs games against the Suns for examples of how this was a problem); moves Stoudamire to power-forward - his preferred and natural position. Also, the Lakers' recent acquisition of Pau Gasol made them another scary, formidable opponent in the playoffs. The Suns had to act. Since Marion was bolting at the end of the season, it was a much better move to get something like this in return, instead of losing again in the Western Conference Finals and then having the same team we have now - only without The Big Aristotle and Trixy.

The key variable though, is injuries. Shaq sat out half the year. He's 35 and 325 pouds. It would be a complete bust if he sat out half of the games left in the regular season and the playoffs. In order for any good to come from this trade, Shaq's gotta be playing. It's a huge gamble - but it's one we had to take. Everyone's crying about how we're going to be slow now. I don't see how with Nash and Barbosa still on the team we would ever be slow. We may not be as fast as we were with Marion out in front - but we'll still be fast and fun to watch. Running with the Matrix only got us so far - maybe dropping it out of ludicrous speed and back into reality is what we need to win a championship.

Nikko and Sumo

Nikko is one of the most popular places in Japan for nature and outdoorsy stuff. Nikko is Nippon. Very traditional, lots of history, a mountain town. It's about an hour and a half away from Koga. Lots of hiking and scenery. It's really cold and snowed a bit while I was up there this time. Took a bus from the train station up to the area where the waterfall is. When we got up there six Japanese Santa Clauses greeted us and passed out presents. It was just before Christmas. They didn't know the words to Jingle Bells, but they knew the tune, so they "La La'd" their way through it.

Shrine in Utsunomiya - a city on the way to Nikko.

Same shrine in Utsunomiya.

Nikko - Kegon Waterfall

Nikko - Lake Chuzenji

Went to a Sumo match this past week. They're only held about every other month and the location moves around Japan each time, so I figured I should seize this opportunity while it's in Tokyo in January. I went because I know I won't be in Japan very long and it's probably the only time in my life I'd be able to go. After going, I know that if I lived the rest of my life in Japan, I would feel no urge to go again. The tickets are expensive, the individual matches last on average less than 10 seconds and the entire show is over in about two hours. They have some freshman and JV matches throughout the day, but the real heavyweights go from 4 - 6pm. It's a somewhat enthusiastic crowd towards the end, but not as exciting as the baseball crowds. They explained a lot of the tradition and the customs observed during the matches - kind of interesting - not noteworthy. I'd rather go to a bullfight or a Suns game.

Ryogoku Kokugikan in Tokyo

The athletes

Warming up

Ready position

Battle

Pride and shame

Celebration

A visit from my brother

Elliot arrived on Friday night, 12/28, much thinner than the last time I saw him. Sleek. I've used that word only two other times in my life to describe men. The first instance was referring to Iceman in Top Gun (can you blame me?), and the other was uttered after a 1994 matchup between the Suns and the Pistons in which this then 12 year old was very impressed by a certain #33's ability to get to the rack. Yes my friends, I speak of the 1993 Henry Iba Corinthian Award Winner, the 1993-94 ACC Men's Basketball Player of the Year, the 1994-95 NBA Co-Rookie of the Year, the 2004-05 NBA Sportsmanship Award Winner, an Olympic Gold Medal Winner and current #33 on your Phoenix Suns - Grant Hill. So Elliot, keep doing the Crossfit thing - you're in good company.

Saturday we went to the two parks that we have in Koga and then out for dinner and karaoke with Akira, Kazumi and Asuka, my best boozing buddies and subsequently my best buddies. Most notable karaoke selections of late include, but are not limited to: Elton John - The Circle of Life; Backstreet Boyzzz - I want it that way; Aerosmith - I don't wanna miss a thing; Weezer - Say it aint so; and a newcomer to the rotation, your favorite - DeAndre Cortez Way - better known as Soulja Boy - Crankdat. There was also a solo performance by Elliot of Queen's - Don't Stop Me Now. I have some footage of this performance, but am holding onto it should I need it some day in the future for incentive/collateral/blackmail.

On Sunday, the 30th, we went to my friend Toshio's house for a mochi party. I know Toshio from the gym, and it started out as one of those gym acquaintanceships where you see the same person there every time you go and say hi or in this case "thank you for working with me." Then it grew into one of those gym friendships where actual conversations occurred. This is the stage where most gym produced relationships plateau, but not in this case. I told him my brother was coming to Japan for the winter break and he invited us to his house for this party - which, in my book, makes the jump from gym friendship to the oh-so-sought-after: friendship. Real nice guy. I had no idea what to expect.

Mochi is a sticky, mostly tasteless food that is made by putting a big ball of hot rice in a bowl carved into an old tree stump, then smashing said ball of rice with a wooden club, into the pasty product known as mochi. It is then doctored up slightly and served with complimentary foods such as bacon or anko. Anko is a bean paste that is common in many Japanese pastries and represented on the big screen and in comic books as Anpanman - one of the country's most revered heroes.

We were at his house from 9:30am to 9:30pm. Four generations of his family lived in there - and it was the definition of a Japanese farm house: Lots of animals, farming equipent, clutter, kids and activity. There were probably 20 - 30 people there throughout the day. All really nice: The sober alcoholic uncle who smoked and wouldn't stop feeding us - Bathroom breaks and trips to examine the rest of the property were extended and strategic time-outs for our digestive tracts. The big cousin who loves Jackass and the Jonny Knoxville crew - Pain, stupidity and humor - the holy trinity transcends cultures and breaks down language barriers. The grandpa who got us hammered off the house sake. The little niece who knocked over my full glass of sake soaking the table, carpet and my pants - I tried to play it off, but once the people of the house noticed and reacted to the spill, the little girl went nuts, wouldn't stop crying, I buried my face in my hands as she was escorted out of the room to calm down. This happened (by some coincidence) about 30 minutes before we were driven home. Terror and unrest to remember us by.
Japanese people don't often open themselves up to strangers, much less foreigners, but when they do, they go all in. 100% submersion on Elliot's second day.

New Year's is celebrated a bit differently here. It's more of a family holiday than the huge party it is back in the states. The family that I went on the hiking trip to Oze with invited us to their house for a new year's eve sleepover. I'd been to their house once before and knew what to expect. It'd be nothing like the marathon we ran the day before at the farm house. This would be much more relaxed, but not without some suffering. It wouldn't be Japan without some suffering. We ate a good full dinner and went to a temple at midnight, as did a lot of other people in the town, to ring a bell and make a prayer. Nothing very remarkable or spectacular, but very Japanese. We got back home around 1am and it was time for bed. This is when the suffering comes in to play. The suffering I speak of is the temperature of the guest bedroom at their house. It's a newer, but fairly traditional Japanese house. The bedroom we slept in was adjacent to the front garden. The walls of this bedroom are constructed of literally thin wood and thinner paper. They're those sliding door/walls that you may have seen in movies. It was the same temperature inside this room as it was outside. It was freezing outside. Fortunately I knew what the conditions would be going in, packed accordingly and we made it through the night.

The next day we drove to Mt. Fuji. We had a crappy folding map of Japan and a few instructions from Wikipedia on how to get there from Tokyo and hit the road at about 11. A word for the wise: don't drive anywhere on a Japanese holiday. It took us 6 hours to get there when it would have taken 3 by train. We heard the same AP news reports on the Armed Forces Network all day. Fortunately P. Harvey Sr. had the day off and we were only somewhat bludgeoned with the rest of the story by Gill Gross and P. Harvey Jr. Since we left so late, we just barely got down there before the sun set and this picture is what we got to show. The guy who took our picture asked if we wanted him to get Mt. Fuji in the background.

We went to Kamakura the day after - one of my favorite places in Japan. Saw the sights, ate curry, missed the sunset on the beach and went back to Koga. There's supposed to be a very famous train that you can take in Kamakura that gives you a nice view of the ocean and other attractions. I've been there twice and have yet to take it or even inquire about it. I think I'm subconsciously waiting for Carlos, my step-dad who's somewhat of a train nut.

The ladies of Kamakura.

The Buddha of Kamakura.

The boardwalk at the beach in Kamakura. Be careful if you decide to stop and eat. The hawks are bullies and will swoop down and snatch whatever you're eating out of your hand. They almost got Elliot's hot pockett-type lunch. Ruined the guy in the picture's day. He sat down with his girlfriend and a nice little picnic pack and they swarmed on him. He left five minutes later - poured out his beer.



We had a date to pong it out on Friday afternoon with the table tennis club at Sowa JHS. Our standard matches are the first one of us to win 6 games wins. This time it was a little different. Instead of mom coming out and messing up one of Elliot's "comebacks" it was Ebihara-sensei coming over to talk to us in between points. Instead of having to stop play to wait for Rusty (R.I.P.) to get out from under the table, we had to wait for one of the kids to clear the way. I was up 5 games to 3 when we had to clean up and help put all the tables away. So in the books it's a draw, but between the lines my empire still reigns supreme.

Class 1-1 at SOWA Junior High School.

Sowa JHS table tennis club - the boys.

The all to rare sucker serve stance.

After our visit at Sowa JHS, we went down to Tokyo for the night and the next day, Saturday.

Capsule hotel in Ikebukuro, Tokyo. $30 gets you a locker, a kimono and the space you see here. The cheapest and easiest hotel I've stayed at in Japan. No curfew and very few questions asked. Also, no girls allowed - it's kind of like a fort I built in 6th grade.

Aahhnfahhnzel.
Elephants making out at Ueno Zoo in Tokyo.

We caught the sunset from the Tokyo Government Towers in Shinjuku. If you squint you can see the top of Mt. Fuji to the right of the sun.

Sunday, Akira, Kazumi and Asuka drove us to the airport. On the way we stopped to see the world's largest statue (Guinness approved) - the Buddha in Ushiku. Yeah, it was pretty big. We got to the airport early and killed time eating in the airport restaurants, watching other planes take off and land, drudging through broken Japanenglish conversations and sweating out those minutes before saying goodbye to someone you really don't want to go.

Dang doo. Love you.