Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Silly Rabbit, Trixy's an Idiot

Killing Me

God, he's gotta be the stupidest player in the league. He's the highest paid player on arguably the best team, feeding off of the best point guard, in a great city, with great weather, golf, swimming pools, women...."but I gotta take care of me."

He's a millionaire who reads at a 6th grade level and, when he meets the press, is the equivalent of a drunken freshman on the first day of Public Speaking 101. The smartest move he's ever made was choosing the parents that would give him the extraordinary athleticism that's allowed him to skate over the many obstacles in his life (including his jumpshot) and become famous, wealthy and a near champion. Only in America.

Ask him what he thought of the first half; who's buried in Paul's tomb; or how he's getting home from the arena tonight and you'll get an inbred broken-legged deer looking at 20 headlights, caught in the middle of the I-10; but tell him there's a 3-year $60 million contract extension taped to the top of US Airways' Center that will self destruct in 15 seconds - he'll be back at center court spinning a basketball with one hand, holding the signed sealed and notarized contract in the other as he Morse Codes his agent with his feet: "oh......we straight, day gon' pay ME!!"

CLASSIC TRIXY

How's he going to pull this crap a week before training camp and over a month after the Garnett deal? He's a selfish, confused, egotistical, amazingly athletic, irrational, immature piece of crap. If amazingly athletic didn't fit so perfectly into our system and style of play, I wouldn't be so pissed off. What's he think he's going to do on the Lakers? or the Jazz? or really any other team? Won't get 20 and 10.

I don't know what he's so upset with the Suns about. He's wanted by pretty much every team in the league and when the Suns explore options, he gets offended, forgetting that there is a lot more to the Suns than Shawn Marion. Ignoring the flattery of being such an in-demand player, he gets hurt, and then after squashing the blockbuster trade of the summer, he demands a trade at the end of September. I want to know if there's one person in the Shawn Marion Camp that hasn't smoked crystal meth at least once in their lives (including indirect contact during time spent in the womb) - I'm taking the under.